Some things learned this year, through homeschooling...

Over the past few weeks I have been contemplating the changes that have come this year through homeschooling. Not changes in the kids, although there are many, changs in me. Homeschooling is not for everyone, I acknowledge that. It was not for me. This has been a LONG journey for me. For years I wasn't even going to do it. Jason really wanted me to, but I desired and LONGED just to do ministry with him. That is what I LONG to do. The last thing I WANTED to do was teach. I find it funny now. I kept telling Jason NO WAY! I am not cut out for that. He thought I could do it. I didn't give it an option. But, God asks us to seek Him. He doesn't always give us the desires of our hearts...right away. He asks us to seek Him. I prayed. I prayed. And I prayed some more. Seeking what He wanted, not me. After two years of praying, and through MANY, MANY confirmations I knew that is what He wanted me to do. So, in faith I stepped.

It has been almost a full two years of teaching them. I am learning. (I hope) They are learning. But, I think my learning has been more than I could ever imagine. I have learned a lot from the text books. School was never easy for me, so I am learning a TON in regard to history and phonics. I never was taught phonics, so this English language makes more since than just memorizing words to me. But more importantly, I have learned more about myself and that has made me a better person and mom and teacher. I am not the best teacher. It doesn't come naturally for me. I have found that is ok. I try. And through trying I show my kids that even if you aren't the best at something God can use anything...I mean ANYTHING. I have found how much I truly love them. I mean really, truly love them. They do get under my skin some days, but my love for them has a new meaning. I have learned from them. They have taught me so much from their growing minds that I would never have learned it I wasn't with them every day.

{I stop as I write this. This is not where I was headed at all. My aim was to point out some logistically things that I have learned this year through homeschooling. I guess that will have to be for another post.}

I have learned how to have patience and flexiblity. I have also learned that God does work in everything for our best if we trust and rely on Him. If we had not been homeschooling we would not have had the opportunities we have to travel and spend time with Jason very sick dad. I have learned to have a perspective of trying to figure out how to learn something from each experience we encounter. I would have never done that before homeschooling.

As I sit contemplating what I have learned I am glad that I opened my eyes to see what He wanted me to do with my life. There is still time to get that degree in sign language interpretation and also to spend as much time serving my husband along in ministry, the way I want to do it. But, for right now, in this moment and this time, He has me here. I am keep getting excited about what He is going to teach me through all of this. And I guess if you really look at it. I am serving along side my husband in ministry. It might not be what I thought it looked like, but it is the ministry of my children. So I guess I am where I wanted to be after all...it is just not how I pictured it to be. I wonder how many other parts of my life are REALLY where I want them to be AND where He wants them to be, I just haven't opened my eyes to seeing how they go together...it gets me to thinking...

What about you, are your eyes closed to what is really in front of you?